Big decisions need intuitive wisdom

“Follow your heart” “listen to your heart” and “I believe deep in my heart” are common phrases that we hear all around us. Being human, we often know instinctively that using our heart as a guide can provide us with the best outcome.

But if you’re like me you will also know that there are times that you have followed what you thought was your heart only for it to have a less than desirable outcome. For example the boyfriend you dated that turned out to be a disaster or the large two course dinner that you were convinced needed an extra portion of dessert… But in these situations, are you really following your heart or are you following your desire? And what’s the distinction?

I find this distinction increasingly important in my work with clients. In a world where we are taught to be rational, to pay attention to our thinking brain and to largely ignore signals from our bodies, our internal guidance can go largely ignored.

This results in us feeling confused and anxious when we come to cross roads in our lives and when we have decisions to be made - our heads telling us one thing and our hearts telling us quite another.

Science helps to explain why we should sit up and pay attention to our hearts - which are in fact another internal brain.

It’s a two-way conversation

Our brain and our heart talk. Not in a small talk kinda way, but they communicate through signals. Our brain sends signals all over our body “telling” various parts what to do and research from scientists at the  HeartMath institute now tell us that the heart sends signals back to the brain which affect our brain function.

Our traditional concept of the brain as the controlling mothership for our bodies is untrue. Research shows that the heart sends out 60 times more electrical activity than our brains. This means that our hearts are taking in huge amounts of signals from our own bodies, and the world around us – other people, and energies, both seen and unseen.

The heart also contains neurons which can sense, feel, learn and remember, which function entirely separately from the brain in our head. These send signals to our brain in the form of a heart rhythm pattern. When we are stressed, frustrated, anxious or insecure the heart rhythm pattern is disturbed and can activate our flight/fight response. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. On the other hand when we feel love, appreciation, care or compassion the heart rhythm produces a smooth coherent wave. 

So what does this mean and how can we start to listen to our hearts? 

For most people guidance from the heart is quiet, soft and full of common sense whereas the mind tends to rationalize desires and reactions.

Here are a few key questions I ask myself when I want to check in and make sure I’m listening to my internal heart wisdom:

Where do I feel this decision?

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes and pay close attention to where the guidance is coming from - does it originate in your head or your heart?

Am I doing this because I feel it’s what I “should” do?

So much of what we do is because of our need to ‘fit in’ and meet others expectations. If you ever hear yourself saying ‘I should be doing x,y,z’ you know that you’ve taken on somebody else agenda not your own. Guidance to this effect always originates in the mind.

Is this in harmony with the person I want to be?

Have you got a clear vision of the person you want to become or the values that you want to live more fully in your life? The heart will always guide you to become more aligned with your true self and not someone else’s version of you.

Next time you have an important decision to make try these questions out. I’d love to hear how you get on with finding the distinction between your heart and head brains. It’s subtle but the more you listen in the louder your heart brain becomes.