Overwhelmed? Anxious? Try this...
I often find myself dealing with the issue of overwhelm with my clients. It’s not surprising given the world we live in today where we are constantly bombarded with stimulus from all around us telling us how we should behave, what we should look like, what we need to possess to keep up with our peers. Many of us don’t want to appear lacking as this would trigger our inner feelings of not being enough. This feeling of not being enough can show up in a number of ways eg not being successful enough, not being a good enough parent, not being attractive enough…. The feat of keeping up with the Jones’ can be EXHAUSTING!!!! One of the methods I use with my clients to help them overcome their overwhelm is the yes/ no/ maybe tool.
Step 1
Create a chart with 3 columns – labelled yes, no, and maybe. Have a think about all of your current commitments and your habits - these could be work or personal. Then put each one under the relevant column on the table.
It’s yes if you are currently taking action. It’s a no if you have stopped doing it. It’s a maybe if you are considering doing it at some undefined point in the future or have stopped taking action on it for a while. So as an example if you want to stop eating a bar of chocolate every day but currently do it, put it in the ‘yes’ column.
Step 2
Look at the maybe column. Do what you need to turn these into a yes or a no. Now don’t panic about moving some of these to a ‘no’ as the ‘no’ column can be a ‘no for now’ and in the future when you have freed up some of your energy resources these items can be bumped up to your ‘yes’ column.
Now the ‘maybe’ column is empty scan down your ‘yes’ column. Listen in. What do you experience when you look at this list? Is it overwhelming? Do you have a visceral reaction? This can be the case for some of my clients. If so, which items can you move from the ‘yes’ to the ‘no for now column’?
Doing this exercise will ensure that you are not draining energy reserves keeping your to-do list active in your mind.
If you want to read more about the specific neuroscience of overwhelm and what’s happening in the brain and the affect this has on the nervous system I’ve highlighted an article below on The neuroscience of overwhelm and how to prevent it by neuroscientist Magdalena Bak-Maier.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/neuroscience-overwhelm-how-prevent-useful-insights-from-bak-maier/
And please let me know how you get on with the yes/no/maybe tool – I’d love to hear any comments!